Curious Warnings: The Great Ghost Stories of M.R. James Read online

  “There are all sorts of writers of all sorts of nightmares, but M.R. James wrote the best ghost stories. He may well have created the ghost story in its current form. Nobody can do what he did as well as he could.”

  Neil Gaiman

  “I have given M.R. James the title of genius, an accolade which should not be lightly bestowed.”

  Ruth Rendell

  “A writer of great supernatural imagination, a master of style and purity … I believe that it is unlikely his ghost stories will ever be surpassed.”

  Christopher Lee

  “M.R. James is the most influential British writer of supernatural fiction.”

  Ramsey Campbell

  “His own subtle and oblique way of constructing narrative has been my dictum: less is more.” Basil Copper

  “M.R. James did more for the ghost story than any other writer. He raised the art of writing tales of terror to a new high level.”

  Hugh Lamb

  “Stylish, beautifully constructed, mountingly sinister and ultimately frightening tales.”

  Peter Haining

  “I was agreeably sensible of their eeriness … There is much invention shown in their construction.”

  Thomas Hardy

  “The name of Montague Rhodes James at once signifies the very best in ghost fiction.”

  Mike Ashley

  “The tales of M.R. James remain as entertaining, and as implausibly plausible, as ever.”

  Michael Cox

  “James is perhaps unsurpassed in originality by any living writer.”

  Clark Ashton Smith

  “The most frightening, learned and humorous ghost stories.”

  Sir John Betjeman

  “M.R. James is one of horror fiction’s few class acts.”

  Geoff Ryman

  “A literary weird fictionist of the very first rank.”

  H.P. Lovecraft

  Also by M.R. James

  SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS

  Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904)

  More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911)

  A Thin Ghost and Others (1919)

  Ander og Trolddom, translated by Ragnhild Undset (1919)

  A Warning to the Curious and Other Ghost Stories (1925)

  The Collected Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1931)

  The Penguin Complete Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1931)

  Thirteen Ghost Stories (1935)

  Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1937)

  Best Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1944)

  Three Ghosts, with H.G. Wells and Rudyard Kipling (1947)

  More Ghost Stories (1959)

  Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1971)

  Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1973)

  The Complete Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1984)

  Collected Ghost Stories (1985)

  The Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1986)

  “Casting the Runes” and Other Ghost Stories (1987)

  A Warning to the Curious: The Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1987)

  The Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1991)

  Collected Ghost Stories (1992)

  Room 13 and Other Ghost Stories: Elementary Level (1992)

  Two Ghost Stories: A Centenary (1993)

  Ghost Stories (1994)

  The Haunted Dolls’ House, with Robert Louis Stevenson (1995)

  Selected Ghost Stories (1995)

  A Warning to the Curious (1998)

  Casting the Runes (1998)

  The Fenstanton Witch and Others: M.R. James in Ghosts and Scholars (1999)

  A Warning to the Curious (1999)

  The Haunted Dolls’ House and Other Stories (2000)

  A Pleasing Terror: The Complete Supernatural Writings of M.R. James (2001)

  Collected Ghost Stories (2002)

  Count Magnus and Other Ghost Stories: The Complete Ghost Stories of M.R. James Vol.1 (2005)

  The House in Picture and Abbott Thomas’s Treasure: Beginner, with F.H. Cornish (2005)

  The Haunted Dolls’ House and Other Stories: The Complete Ghost Stories of M.R. James Vol.2 (2006)

  Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (2006)

  Collected Ghost Stories (2007)

  Canon Alberic’s Scrap-book (2011)

  Collected Ghost Stories (2011)

  SEPARATE PUBLICATIONS

  The Five Jars (1922)

  Wailing Well (1928)

  The Five Jars (1976)

  The Five Jars (1995)

  MEMOIR

  Eton and King’s: Recollections, Mostly Trivial 1875–1925 (1926)

  Eton and King’s: Recollections, Mostly Trivial 1875–1925 (2006)

  AS EDITOR

  Madam Crowl’s Ghost and Other Tales of Mystery, by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (1923)

  AS TRANSLATOR

  Hans Andersen: Forty Stories, by Hans Christian Andersen (1930)

  The Little Mermaid, by Hans Christian Andersen (1935)

  Hans Andersen: Forty-Two Stories, by Hans Christian Andersen (1953)

  NON-FICTION

  Some Remarks on Ghost Stories (1985)

  INTRODUCTIONS

  Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904)

  The Story of a Troll-Hunt, by James McBryde (1904)

  More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911)

  A Thin Ghost and Others (1919)

  The Lion’s Birthday, by Emily Plenderleath Harrison (1920)

  Madam Crowl’s Ghost and Other Tales of Mystery, by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (1923)

  Ghosts and Marvels, edited by V.H. Collins (1924)

  A Warning to the Curious and Other Ghost Stories (1925)

  Uncle Silas, by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (1926)

  The Collected Ghost Stories of M.R. James (1931)

  Curious Warnings

  The Great Ghost Stories of

  M.R. JAMES

  150TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

  Edited with an Afterword by

  STEPHEN JONES

  Illustrated by

  LES EDWARDS

  New York • London

  This selection and editorial material © 2012 by Stephen Jones

  Cover and interior illustrations © 2012 by Les Edwards

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review. Scanning, uploading, and electronic distribution of this book or the facilitation of the same without the permission of the publisher is prohibited.

  Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  Any member of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use or anthology should send inquiries to Permissions c/o Quercus Publishing Inc., 31 West 57th Street, 6th Floor, New York, NY 10019, or to [email protected].

  ISBN 978-1-62365-025-4

  Distributed in the United States and Canada by Random House Publisher Services

  c/o Random House, 1745 Broadway

  New York, NY 10019

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, institutions, places, and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons—living or dead—events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  www.quercus.com

  Contents

  Editor’s Note

  Ghosts—Treat Them Gently!

  Ghost Stories

  Canon A
lberic’s Scrap-book

  Lost Hearts

  The Ash-tree

  Count Magnus

  The Mezzotint

  Number 13

  “Oh, Whistle, and I’ll Come to You, My Lad”

  The Treasure of Abbot Thomas

  The Stalls of Barchester Cathedral

  Casting the Runes

  Martin’s Close

  Mr. Humphreys and His Inheritance

  The Rose Garden

  A School Story

  The Tractate Middoth

  The Story of a Disappearance and an Appearance

  An Episode of Cathedral History

  The Diary of Mr. Poynter

  The Residence at Whitminster

  Two Doctors

  The Uncommon Prayer-book

  The Five Jars

  I: The Discovery

  II: The First Jar

  III: The Second Jar

  IV: The Small People

  V: Danger to the Jars

  VI: The Cat, Wag, Slim and Others

  VII: The Bat-Ball

  VIII: Wag at Home

  The Haunted Dolls’ House

  A Neighbor’s Landmark

  After Dark in the Playing Fields

  There Was a Man Dwelled by a Churchyard

  A View from a Hill

  A Warning to the Curious

  An Evening’s Entertainment

  Wailing Well

  Rats

  The Experiment: A New Year’s Eve Ghost Story

  The Malice of Inanimate Objects

  A Vignette

  The Bulbul and the Cuckoo: An Indian Folk Tale

  Stories I Have Tried to Write

  A Night in King’s College Chapel

  The Fenstanton Witch

  John Humphreys

  Marcilly-le-Hayer

  The Game of Bear

  Speaker Lenthall’s Tomb

  Merfield House

  Living Night

  Some Remarks on Ghost Stories

  Afterword: “The Stony Grin of Unearthly Malice” by Stephen Jones

  Acknowledgments

  Special thanks, as always, go to my editor and publisher Jo Fletcher, Val and Les Edwards, Nicola Budd, Lindsay Nash, Peter Gibbs, Colin Murray, Hugh Lamb, Neil Gaiman, Johnny Mains, Robert Lloyd Parry, Reggie Oliver, Jim Bryant, Simon Ball, Nicholas Rhodes James, Richard Dalby, the late Michael Cox and, especially, Rosemary Pardoe, for all their help and support.

  “Editor’s Note” copyright © Stephen Jones 2012.

  “Ghosts—Treat Them Gently!,” first published in The Evening News, April 17, 1931.

  “Ghost Stories,” first published in The Eton Rambler No. 2, May 18, 1880, and The Eton Rambler No. 4, June 21, 1880.

  “Canon Alberic’s Scrap-book,” first published under the title “The Scrap-book of Canon Alberic” in National Review Vol. XXV, No. 145, March 1895.

  “Lost Hearts,” first published in Pall Mall Magazine, Vol. VII, No. 32, December 1895.

  “The Ash-tree,” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “Count Magnus,” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “The Mezzotint,” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “Number 13,” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “‘Oh, Whistle, and I’ll Come to You, My Lad,’” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “The Treasure of Abbot Thomas,” first published in Ghost-Stories of an Antiquary (1904).

  “The Stalls of Barchester Cathedral,” first published under the title “The Stalls of Barchester Cathedral: Materials for a Ghost Story” in Contemporary Review Vol. XCVII, No. 35, 1910.

  “Casting the Runes,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “Martin’s Close,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “Mr. Humphreys and His Inheritance,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “The Rose Garden,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “A School Story,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “The Tractate Middoth,” first published in More Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (1911).

  “The Story of a Disappearance and an Appearance,” first published in Cambridge Review, June 4, 1913.

  “An Episode of Cathedral History,” first published in Cambridge Review, June 10, 1914.

  “The Diary of Mr. Poynter,” first published in A Thin Ghost and Others (1919).

  “The Residence at Whitminster,” first published in A Thin Ghost and Others (1919).

  “Two Doctors,” first published in A Thin Ghost and Others (1919).

  “The Uncommon Prayer-book,” first published in Atlantic Monthly, Vol. 127, No. 6, June 1921.

  “The Five Jars,” first published in 1922.

  “The Haunted Dolls’ House,” first published in Empire Review, Vol. XXXVIII, No. 265, February 1923.

  “A Neighbor’s Landmark,” first published in The Eton Chronic, March 17, 1924.

  “After Dark in the Playing Fields,” first published in College Days, No. 10, June 28, 1924.

  “There Was a Man Dwelled by a Churchyard,” first published in Snapdragon, December 6, 1924.

  “A View from a Hill,” first published in London Mercury, Vol. XII, No. 67, May 1925.

  “A Warning to the Curious,” first published in London Mercury, Vol. XII, No. 70, August 1925.

  “An Evening’s Entertainment,” first published in A Warning to the Curious (1925).

  “Wailing Well,” first published in 1928.

  “Rats,” first published in At Random, March 23, 1929.

  “The Experiment: A New Year’s Eve Ghost Story,” first published in Morning Post, December 31, 1931.

  “The Malice of Inanimate Objects,” first published in The Masquerade, No. 1, June 1933.

  “A Vignette,” first published in The London Mercury and Bookman, No. 35, November 1936.

  “The Bulbul and the Cuckoo: An Indian Folk Tale” (aka “The Story of the Bulbul”), from a letter dated February 9, 1917, to Gwendolen McBryde. First published in Letters to a Friend (1956).

  “Stories I Have Tried to Write,” first published in The Touchstone, No. 2, November 30, 30 1929.

  “A Night in King’s College Chapel” copyright © N.J.R. James 1985. First published in Ghosts & Scholars, No. 7, 1985. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1985.

  “The Fenstanton Witch” copyright © N.J.R. James 1990, 1999, 2003. First published in Ghosts & Scholars, No. 12, 1990. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1990, 1999, 2003.

  “John Humphreys” copyright © N.J.R. James 1993, 2007. First published in Ghosts & Scholars, No. 16, 1993. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1993, 2007.

  “Marcilly-le-Hayer” copyright © N.J.R. James 1996, 1999, 2006. First published in Ghosts & Scholars, No. 22, 1996. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1996, 1999, 2006.

  “The Game of Bear” copyright © N.J.R. James 1999, 2007. First published in The Fenstanton Witch and Others. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1999, 2007.

  “Speaker Lenthall’s Tomb” copyright © N.J.R. James 1999, 2005. First published in a severely truncated version in The Fenstanton Witch and Others. This almost-complete version first published in Ghosts & Scholars M.R. James Newsletter, No. 7, 2005. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1999, 2005.

&nb
sp; “Merfield House” copyright © N.J.R. James 1999, 2007. First published in The Fenstanton Witch and Others. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription copyright © Rosemary Pardoe 1999, 2007.

  “Living Night” copyright © N.J.R. James 2011. From a letter dated January 17, 1888, to the author’s family. First published in Ghosts & Scholars M.R. James Newsletter, No. 20, October 2011. Reprinted by permission of the copyright owner and his agent, Michelle Kass Associates. Transcription © Jim Bryant 2011.

  “Some Remarks on Ghost Stories,” first published in The Bookman Christmas Issue, December 1929.

  “Afterword: ‘The Stony Grin of Unearthly Malice’” copyright © Stephen Jones 2012.

  Some texts have been re-punctuated for publication in this new edition.

  Every effort has been made to trace the owners of any copyright material in this book. In the case of any question arising as to the use of such material, the publisher, while expressing regret for any errors, will be pleased to make the necessary corrections in future editions of the book.

  For

  ROSEMARY PARDOE

  DAVID ROWLANDS

  STEVE DUFFY

  and

  NICHOLAS RHODES JAMES

  for continuing to promote the works of Montague Rhodes James.

  Editor’s Note

  M.R. JAMES was a wonderful storyteller, but he was not much of a stylist. Well, he was a stylist—but he wrote in a unique style that was very much all his own.

  The marvelous thing about language is that it is always changing, and the way in which stories were written in James’ time—in some cases more than 100 years ago now—is very different from how fiction is presented to today’s readers. Not just certain words or phrases which have passed out of popular usage, but with the application of spelling and punctuation as well.

  While re-reading the author’s classic supernatural stories in preparation for compiling this present collection of his work, the possibility struck me that he had never really been properly edited before. It is more than likely—especially given James’ stated resistance initially to having his work collected in print form—that the original publications of his work were mostly set from the “rough” manuscripts he had prepared for his annual Christmas readings to a select audience.

  As anyone who is used to public speaking knows, a script can be very different from a page of prose—the “beats” and timbre of reading aloud are not always the same as a carefully constructed piece of fiction.